How to remove chewing gum from your pants

So.. I’d just finished my morning coffee and stood up to get to work, a stranger pointed out that I had chewing gum on my trousers, thanks to the seat I’d been on. This is probably one of the reasons for one of the most ridiculous laws in this country. And for once, I appreciated it.

The twerp had no decency to dump it in an ashtray, or under a table or the seat (that’s where you’d normally find it right? under the table?). On a seat! Chrissakes!

So on to the internet on how to get rid of the sticky white stain, right up near my buttcrack. Wikihow had an answer, and so did eHow and HowtodoThings.com. These are the ones I tried.

Ironing. All it did was leave a oily mark on the paper I tried to absorb it with.

Ironing. All it did was leave a oily mark on the paper I tried to absorb it with.

Freezing and Scraping. The more I did this, the more I felt bad for my trousers.

Freezing and Scraping. The more I did this, the more I felt bad for my trousers.

Win. Simple Green and a toothbrush.

Win. Simple Green and a toothbrush.

Don’t be dumb. Use a disposable from a hotel, not your own and certainly not your mate’s.