Today marks 4 years I’ve been working at this place I work at. As the moss gathers and the pitches roll off my tongue more smoothly, I can only joke in colloquial that my roti-prata is getting better to eat! To more good years, and the challenges that come with it…
Had an epiphany.
We’ve seen an increasing number of zombie movies and shows in the last couple of years. Good ones too. The internets have sprouted entire communities dedicated to discussing this. Fast moving zombies or slow moving ones. Slow moving ones that become sprinters when they lock on to a target. Infected or undead.
Methods of avoidance, dispatch, survival, among others are discussed. “Noisies” like guns deal fast damage at a distance but attract others. Knives, swords, pikes, hammers and axes are closer quarter but quieter ways of killing them. All manner of gear. Ropes and climbing. Protective gear – face shields for not getting blood and brain juice in your eyes during close quarter zombie encounters. Etc. All in preparation of the Zombie Apocalypse.
Consider this: it’s already here.
Look at the people around you. The ones who shuffle about their daily lives… mindless, unaware. The ones that don’t care. All they want to do is feast on your flesh, infect you with the T-virus. Ever think about it? The T in T-virus is short for fuckTard.
The story is the same. Avoid where possible. Keep your family and loved ones close. Blunt/sharp force trauma to the cerebral cortex is the fastest and most direct way stopping them permanently.
So friends, I urge you to be on your guard. If you have stopped caring, or if your life consists of trundling from one point to another then you know you’ve turned. The situation *may* be reversed.
Start caring. Start thinking. You may be on your way to a more meaningful and fulfilling life. But yes, you’ll have to start dealing with zombies along the way.
Was called in to troubleshoot some issue at work. Not my job – but OK… Asked a few questions, started a flowchart on the board. Circled in red where I thought I saw loopholes. Division Director comes up to me and says, “If everyone had your clarity, we wouldn’t have this problem”.
A compliment perhaps? But c’mon! Who’d they hire? Buffoons?
I quipped recently to a colleague that I couldn’t just work for *any* company despite the perks the organisation offers – because I would just go to jail for some people. That’s because these people have no demonstrable mouth-to-brain connection, and my first instinct would be to murder.