Quotes

You may notice a random quote on the sidebar in the homepage. This is a complete list I’ve collected so far via the Quotes Collection plugin for WordPress.

Quotes from the Movies

Gerry Lane (to Andrew Fassbach): They move we move, they stop we stop. If things were to get crazy, just focus on their boots, focus on their voices, we’ll be alright. These guys are hammers, and to hammers everything looks like nails.

I thought the Hulk was the hero of the movie.

Steve Rogers: Doc… I think now is the perfect time for you to get angry.
Bruce Banner: That’s my secret Cap, I’m always angry.

Loki: Enough! All of you are beneath me. I am a god you dull creature, and I shall not be bullied…
[Hulk throws Loki around like a rag doll]

Wilson: He’s not your father either. I’m sorry.
House: You know what that means?
Wilson: Your mom’s a slut?

Sergeant Douglas E. Dickie: Aint nothing like the sound a man makes when you set him on fire

Seal guy: You took one to the face man, you’re a hard motherfucker!

Sherlock Holmes: It’s so overt, it’s covert!

Dr. Ian Sussman: Blogging is not writing. It’s just graffiti with punctuation.

Reinette Poisson: Oh. This is my lover, the King of France.
The Doctor: Yeah? Well I’m the Lord of Time.

Andrew “Ack-Ack” Haldane: Never run when you can walk. Never walk when you can stand. Never stand when you can sit down. Never sit down when you can lie down. Never lie down when you can sleep. And never pass a supply of clean water.

Hotel Concierge Alessio: Buongiorno signore.
Frank Tupelo: Buongiorno. I…I need help! There are two men trying to break down the door.
Hotel Concierge Alessio: I see, what kind of problem do you have with the door, sir?
Frank Tupelo: No, no, no! There are two men with guns trying to break in! Dos hombres, con…con pistolas!
Hotel Concierge Alessio: Your Spanish is excellent, sir.

Eli: Dear Lord, Thank you for giving me the strength and the conviction to complete the task you entrusted to me. Thank you for guiding me straight and true through the many obstacles in my path. And for keeping me resolute when all around seemed lost. Thank you for your protection and your many signs along the way. Thank you for any good that I may have done, I’m so sorry about the bad. Thank you for the friend I made. Please watch over her as you watched over me. Thank you for finally allowing me to rest. I’m so very tired, but I go now to my rest at peace. Knowing that I’ve done right with my time on this Earth. I fought the good fight, I finished the race, I kept the faith.

Mr. Smith: I move my finger one inch to use my turn signal. Why are these assholes so lazy they can’t move their finger one fucking measly inch to drive more safely? You wanna know why?….. Because these rich bastards have to be callous and inconsiderate in the first place to make all that money, so when they get on the road, they can’t help themselves. They’ve gotta be callous and inconsiderate drivers too. It’s in their nature.

Hetty (and Porthos): Go home, find a wench, raise fat babies, live a good long life.

(A lot of good lines from this one…)
Bryan: I don’t know who you are. I don’t know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don’t have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my daughter go now, that’ll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don’t, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you.

Wikus Van De Merwe: *Argh* Foking Bliksem!

Merci pour cette belle aventure. Il est temps pour toi d’er vivre une nouvelle. Je t’aime, Ellie

Anna Scott: You know what they say about men with big feet.
William: No, I don’t, actually. What’s that?
Anna Scott: Big feet… large shoes.

Jetfire: “Earth?” Terrible name for a planet. Might as well call it “Dirt”. Planet Dirt.

Spock: Since my customary farewell would appear oddly self-serving, I shall simply say… Good luck.

Rorschach: None of you understand. I’m not locked up in here with you. You’re locked up in here with me.

A whole night of suck, squeeze, bang, blow!

— James May – Top Gear

Fair, if you expect admiring
Sweet, if you provoke desiring
Grace dear love with kind requiting

— Thomas Campion (1567-1620)

The Deep Stuff

Parents should remember that they are supposed to die before their children. Nobody will help them later on, so the greatest gift parents can give their children is independence.

— Hiroo Onoda

A good word a day keeps the dodgies away.

— Anon

What people in the world think of you is really none of your business.

— Martha Graham

If you run, you are a runner. It doesn’t matter how fast or how far. It doesn’t matter if today is your first day or if you’ve been running for twenty years. There is no test to pass, no license to earn, no membership card to get. You just run.

— John Bingham

Just imagine the sense of wonder in a baby when he first discovers that merely by uttering a sound, he can cause objects to move across a room, as if by magic, and maybe even into his mouth.

— Mark Pagel, TEDGlobal 2011

He knows nothing; and he thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.

— George Bernard Shaw

If you have an apple and I have an apple and we exchange apples then you and I will still each have one apple. But if you have an idea and I have an idea and we exchange these ideas, then each of us will have two ideas.

— George Bernard Shaw

A customer is the most important visitor on our premises.
He is not dependent on us. We are dependent on him.
He is not an interruption of our work. He is the purpose of it.
He is not an outsider of our business. He is part of it.
We are not doing him a favour by serving him.
He is doing us a favour by giving us the opportunity to do so.

— Mahatma Gandhi

Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.

— Dr. Seuss

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the universe.

— Albert Einstein

Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, but expecting different results.

— Albert Einstein

If it’s worth doing, it’s worth overdoing.

— Ayn Rand

Stay hungry. Stay foolish.

— Stewart Brand, Whole Earth Catalog

Political Correctness is a doctrine fostered by a delusional, illogical minority, and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end.

— Anon

Grandparents are a family’s greatest treasure, the founders of a loving legacy. The greatest storytellers, the keepers of traditions that linger on in cherished memory. Grandparents are the family’s strong foundation. Their very special love sets them apart. Through happiness and sorrow, through their special love and caring, grandparents keep a family close at heart.

— Anon

Get a bicycle. You will not regret it if you live.

— Mark Twain

The bicycle is a curious vehicle. Its passenger is its engine.

— John Howard

Nobody ever died from not knowing how to play football. Yet we spend tax money teaching kids its nuances in gym classes, while bicycle safety is still foreign to most school curriculums. That isn’t right.

— Don Cuerdon (Cycling journalist)

Don’t work. Avoid telling the truth. Be hated. Love someone.

— Adrian Tan

Impossible is just a big word thrown around by small men who find it easier to live in the world they’ve been given than to explore the power they have to change it. Impossible is not a fact. It’s an opinion. Impossible is not a declaration. It’s a dare. Impossible is potential. Impossible is temporary. Impossible is nothing.

— Muhammad Ali

Engineering: The ultimate pursuit of laziness through hard work.

The Funnies

Piggyliticitis: The medical condition that causes one to sleep for 15 hours, wake up for lunch, then have another 3 hour nap.

u shud drop out. skules a wayst of thyme anyweigh.

Me fail english? That’s unpossible.

— Ralph Wiggum

How to tell if a edge is sharp? Lick it. A dull blade tastes like iron. A sharp blade tastes like blood.

— mongolguy

Silence is golden, but duct tape is silver.

Bakchew taap stamp. 眼睛贴邮票

Due to the proximity of the letters “T” and “G” on the keyboard, I will no longer be signing my emails off with “Best regards”.